Calvin and Hobbes: THE FUTURE IS NOT SWEET
by Comicfreak1007
Summary: After Calvin made a careless mistake, their time machine accidentally sent them to the future, instead of the Middle Ages as planned. As Calvin and Hobbes try to figure out how to get back home, they find some shocking stuff along the way. Please R&R.


_**CHAPTER ONE**_

Calvin got bored one weekend, and decided to say hello to his little friend...again.

"Hiya," Calvin whispered as he slowly walked out of the closet with a box in his hand. In black crayon, it said, **"TIME MACHINE".**

"Did ya miss me?" He nodded as he left the time machine in the middle of his bedroom floor. Calvin decided that he wants to go back in time once again, this time, in the Middle Ages. But, then, he thought, _"I need to bring Hobbes along. He knows how to control the time machine...somewhat. That way, If something happens to me, he'll tell everyone back home."_

"HOBBES! GET IN HERE!!!"

Many moments later, Hobbes walked into Calvin's bedroom, carrying a cheesestick, and a bag of _Oreos. _Calvin then walked over to his radio, turned it on, and gestured towards the time machine. Fanfare music was played on the radio immediately. Hobbes then took one glance at the time machine, and looked at Calvin before finally turning around, and walking out of the room without showing any emotion. The music's speed on the radio gradually decreased until the radio died. Annoyed, Calvin ran after Hobbes, oblivious to the fact that his radio was dead.

A few minutes later, Hobbes was in the living room, sitting on the couch, and carelessly dunking oreos into his glass of milk. Laughter was heard from the TV. Hobbes soon began laughing as well, showing the mushed oreos he still had in his mouth.

**"HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA....!!!!!"**

Calvin walked into the living room, and saw Hobbes laughing with his mouth ajar, clutching to the arm of the couch. Calvin quickly shook his head, and walked over to the TV to turn it off.

_**ZWOOP!**_

"What are..." Hobbes stopped in the middle of his sentence to swallow his _Oreos _that were left in his mouth for an eternity. After licking his lips, he continued.

"What are you doing? I was watching that."

"Oh, I'm not letting you sit here watching sitcoms while I go back in time! I thought you knew by now."

Hobbes replied with a groan, and the rolling of the eyes. "But, I don't want to! Last time we went back in time, we were almost killed! My heart skipped over 10 beats during that chase! Do you want me to relive that experience _**AGAIN?**_"

"Oh, relax, drama king. This time, we're going back to a time where dinosaurs are extinct."

"Well, dinosaurs are extinct now..." Hobbes then looked around, and gave Calvin a thumbs up. "You see? We didn't even need to go into your death trap of a time machine after all! Thank you for this wonderful experience." Hobbes grabbed the remote, and was about to turn it on, but Calvin grabbed it, and threw it behind the couch. Hobbes gave Calvin a death glare, and growled.

"Don't you dare look at me like that! I assure you that the time machine is completely fixed. Besides, we haven't gone back to the Middle Ages yet."

Hobbes' pupils increased in size.

"S....S.....Say what?!"

"Thaaaaaat's right, Hobbes. The Middle Ages," Calvin crossed his arms. "Home of The Black Plague, Monarchy, insanity, and bad hygiene."

**"EVEN WORSE!"**

"...Again, thank you, Mr. Drama King. Now, look, if it'll make you happy, we'll only be there for 30 seconds, and we'll be safely in the time machine at all times." Calvin jumped on the couch, and grabbed Hobbes' shoulders. Hobbes' body began to shake uncontrollably, as if he was brutally ill.

"Think you can handle **THAT?" **Hobbes stopped shaking, sniffed, and quietly replied:

".....I think so...."

"Good. Glad to know you're not a boneless chicken."

****************************************************************************************************************************

"Let's go, you hairy slug," Calvin yelled from his room. "I ain't leaving until you come in here, and plant your striped butt in this machine!"

Moments later, Hobbes walked into Calvin's room once again, eating a bag of cheddar potato chips. Calvin simply widened his eyes, and looked at him as if he just performed an insane act. Hobbes stopped munching on the chips, and looked at Calvin innocently.

"What?"

"Don't you 'What?' me, mister!" As Hobbes walked over to the time machine, Calvin jumped out of the time machine, and snatched the bag of potato chips out of Hobbes' hands.

"I've noticed this week you've been consuming twice your weight on junk food!"

Hobbes scoffed as he snatched his bag of potato chips out of Calvin's hands. "This is America. I can eat whatever I want! I don't know why this concerns _you, _Mr. _**I'm going to lock my babysitter out of the house, and eat everything in my house!"**_

"That was different. It's called opportunity, and you gotta learn when to use that card in life! Besides, your massive weight can now slow the time machine down, or even worse: make the time machine drop like a hot air balloon, and suck us into the portal that sends us straight to Oblivion!"

There was silence as Hobbes looked at the ceiling, and remained mute for a few seconds. Finally, he broke the silence.

"So that was the black hole I saw below us last time!"

"Uh-huh, but luckily..." Calvin got into the time machine once more, and pounded on the inside with his fist. "This time machine can hold anyone at 1000 pounds or less! So, we don't have anything to worry about! Now, get in here! We've already wasted time with our constant talking."

Hobbes sighed, and climbed into the time machine with Calvin with little hesitation.

"Put on your goggles, buddy." At the same time, Calvin and Hobbes got out their goggles, and put them on. "This is going to be a bumpy ride. Let's see...time set to the 1340's....heater on....radio on..."

"I didn't remember this time machine having a heater and a radio in here," Hobbes said in shock. Calvin looked at him, and said, "We didn't. That's what I meant when I said I fixed it. Nice, huh? Next stop, the Middle Ages!"

As Calvin whooped, and Hobbes loudly gulps, the time machine slowly rises, and stays frozen five feet in the air until the time machine drove into an invisible portal in the speed of light, leaving a small cloud of smoke.


End file.
